Reboot Post #2 : Dating Apps Pt 2: Was I The Catfish?

Originally written in May 2015 on 2blkgrls.com

So a few weeks back I shared a few of my initial experiences using dating apps to meet new people and get a few new texting buddies. Basically it was a partial fail. I’d quickly given up on Black Dating For Free and Tinder. The majority of the people creeped me out and some of the pictures just. . . really? I do not mean that in a shallow way at all, but let me just go on the record saying I do happen to like seeing men in clothing. I mean it’s nice to be comfortable in your skin, I’m happy for you bro, but sometimes it’s a bit much and I have a pretty damn awesome imagination, so just let me use that instead of you showing me the full picture before hello.

Anywhos, I kept with OkCupid and Meld through my next trial run. I’d began talking to a few cool guys (in my opinion, one was really “nerdy” <totally his words>, but his conversation and intellect were on point!). I tried several other apps and maybe I didn’t give them a fair try, but it was pretty downhill for me.

Coffee Meets Bagel: Yawns.  & Wyldfire: Speed dating with people’s friends?

Honestly, I didn’t give these two apps a chance. I made profiles and browsed, but I realized again, I’m not about this life. Coffee Meets Bagel takes too long for me. You get a “bagel” every 12 hours if I remember correctly. Only certain information on your bagel’s profile is shared until you like to reveal more. With Wyldfire you’ve got to invite some of your friends to join the network. Hmm, what is I was serious about dating and embarrassed that I was going through an app? I’m not,  but again, it seemed like too much work. I’m good.

SoulSwipe: Def Enjoyable

So I honestly took this one for a joke, more serious than BDFF, but still a joke. I assumed some crazy things to say the least, but I was wronged . . . by one guy. So I had a few matches over the 2-week period I tried it out. Out of about six matches I’ve only exchanged words with half of them. The other guys I matched up with they didn’t reach out and aside from one, I didn’t contact them either. Of the three I did speak to, one was eager to meet (and just so happened to live up the street from me) and the other was really laid back and had decent conversation (plus he was cute, score?). With the guy that wanted to meet, I was disappointed in the fact that we’d barely matched, I tried to start a conversation even agreed to give him my number to text, but every question was only met with “so when you want to meet up?” It was at that moment that I knew I needed to get my ass off of these damn apps. People are seriously looking for love, lusts and fucks, or Catfishing folks and I’m seriously not with any of that right now. That “conversation” ended rather quickly. Maybe he thought I was a big fat catfish or childish since he mentioned “adults meet up in public places like Starbucks”. Eh, but I don’t even have any info on you besides a picture and a name, both of which may not be yours. Moving along. The other guy, Mr. Cutie, was the perfect texting buddy. Texting with him sort of gave me that high school feeling. First person that texts me in the morning, conversation just continues no matter how many hours or days pass, and he actually talks about things and has a good sense of humor! Sheesh, where have you been? I didn’t even attempt to match up with any other guys. He had my attention for awhile.

There was also Hinge and Cupid, but aside from downloading the apps, I never got around to checking them out.

Conclusion: I’ve deleted all profiles on all apps excluding Meld (which I haven’t been on since deleting all accounts about 2 weeks ago). If ever I do decide to venture into dating apps again I’d definitely get back on OkCupid and SoulSwipe. The men, no matter the race, ethnicity, religion, career field, were all interesting in their own ways. It was fun. It was innocent. And now, for the time being, it is over. It was fun trying something new and out of my comfort zone. I went into it with an opened mind, but assumptions there would be a sort of party-line (y’all remember the party lines) feel. It wasn’t and maybe that was a bit disappointing. Also, it seemed like work to go through tons of profiles to only get a handful of matches and maybe one good conversation. I’ll stick to bumping into folks in public and having small talk and exchanging numbers and see where it goes. But in order for that to happen, I’ve got to get back comfortable with giving a random guy my number (there have been some crazies, may share a story or two with you next time).

Hey, feel free to share any experiences you may have had with online dating apps. Also, let me know why you all think my experiences went the way they did. I’m inviting you to read me haha. Play nice!

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