Poetry Post: Broken Silence

*A work in progress.

I’d been wanting to share a post that I’d written regarding a very specific incident in my life. I wrote it in pen and could not bring myself to share it publicly. I tried again and this poem came out.

A silence so loud
the pain lingers and rumbles
louder than any thunder beyond the clouds my head hung up
with the thoughts of that night
we drink we smoke and I didn’t put up a fight
but just because those where my actions
doesn’t make the situation right
it took so long for the tears to stop
so long for the self-blame to end
so long to pull myself up out of that dark space
and no one knows
what my silence holds
my truths to that night
I can’t tell you how it began
in that bathroom, in that space
in a place I can’t even retrace
my steps back to
I can’t tell you the pieces of me lost
in that bathroom, on that floor
in the place I thought was safe
my truths to that night
held tight in silence
silence
I held, but you shared
because that night in the bathroom
on the floor wasn’t enough.
Me not giving in to your request for
it to happen again
on your command was enough
enough for you to blackmail me
enough for you to ruin a friendship
enough for you to soil my name
enough to break through and
shatter my silence
silence so loud that
I’m finally speaking out…

Viola Constance

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