Since I’ve moved from California to Georgia, I’ve been doing tons of reflecting. One of the things that continuously crosses my mind is where I am in life. Although I’ve been trying hard to stay away from a life of checking off boxes – you know go to college, graduate, get a well-paid career, get married, buy a home, have kids etc…- there’s one thing that’s been a bother.

It became crystal clear once my sister purchased her home and I noticed a new air about her. Then I remembered recent comments from someone who was living with my mom and treatment and comments from certain family members.

On the list I once had, I still hadn’t checked off by my first home by 25. I know, I know, kind of silly right? While I’ve been content with not owning a home just yet (because the way my life plan for my life is set up…) it gnaws at me from time to time when folks make certain comments. Again, I know, fuck what people say. But sometimes it isn’t that easy.

I realized these comments were hurtful to me not because I hadn’t accomplished this “milestone,” not because I couldn’t, but because these people thought it okay to judge me based on whatever rules or standards they had chose to live by. These folks thought it was okay to comment on my way of life. The fucking nerve of them! Thinking about it used to piss me off and take me to their petty-low place where I would list off all the many things I’ve accomplished and they couldn’t say that they’ve done. I’ll show you! I’d do this quietly, not out loud. I know I’m better than that. I think I have shown them by continuing to live my life my way.

I snapped back into myself and had to remember we are all great in different ways. We all value very different things and we all have different goals. This Facebook post by Chi-Town funny girl Katie Wilson summed it all up.

Fuck people and societal standards. I’ve been in my own lane my entire life and my pace of things suit me just fine. Those people were reflecting or at least trying to pass off their sadness, unhappiness, bitterness, depression and overall negativity onto me and my life. I guess my light was shining too bright for them. Instead of them adjusting their dimmer and shining brightly they tryied to dim mine. Hmm.

At a time where everyone of all ages pretty much live life online via social media through filters, I had to remember to focus on my own lane and I’m sharing this in hopes of reminding someone else to focus in on their lane. It’s easy to forget that we all pick and choose what we wish to share and the overload of viewing post where people seem happy all the time can be a downer if you’re not quite happy or not where you want to be in life. I always remember what my favorite YouTuber and sister in spirit Megz said:

This paired with all of my accomplishments and remembering who the fuck I am gets me in line every time. No one is like me. My journey, no matter how difficult or the amouny of obstacles, has been mine alone and I’ve been crushing that shit! Yes, curses and all, these are just a few affirmations that uplift me. I want you reading this to know that you are right where you ought to be right now in your life. Whether you are liking your position in life right now or you understand all that you’re going through, remember everything happens for a reason, hold faith and keep doing you!

Peace.

– Viola Constance