As of late, I’ve been told dozens of times that I “still have time.” You still have time to get into your career. You still have time to have kids. You still have time to xyz. I get it, I get it. Stop the pressure, relax and keep pushing forward. But, with all this time I supposedly have, why is it that folks seem to want to rush things in my life?
When are you going to get married?
When are you going to have a child?
When are you going to date?
2019 is tough. It’s tough when you want that old school, R & B, loyal type of relationship. That send you songs throughout the day, fall asleep on the phone connection. But for some reason we are stuck with situationships, casual dating/sex, pre-dating and a whole host of other bullshit. Why are we afraid of commitment? Why are we so afraid to take risks in terms of relationships? Why are we not so open to finding love?
The wait is over!
This may seem strange to some, but for those who may be a bit more seasoned it isn’t. But I COULD NOT WAIT to turn 30. I just felt like life in my mid to late 20’s was trash!
At this point I feel silly STILL blaming COVID for my writer’s block. COVID definitely put me in a slump and dug up the procrastination bug. There were a few things I’d began working on prior to and during the beginning stages of COVID. Those things were small projects in tasks but large an emotional sense and humungous on my goal list.
This past weekend I attended my 10 year high school reunion. It wasn’t what I expected at all. I had mixed emotions leading up to the event. Initially, I was excited. Then, I wanted to not go. Then I was back and forth with it.
Since I caught wind that Ava DuVernay was creating a mini series about the “Central Park 5,” I was overcome with emotion. I was excited, because although there was previous documentaries and coverage of this notable case, it just feels different when it’s coming form “one of us.” I was thrilled, because not only did I believe Ava would do right by the five men whose childhoods were cut short because of this, but I felt she would dig deep and research and share things that were previously unknown.
Grief can take on many forms. It comes in different shades, shapes and many levels. It’s not lateral. Nor vertical . There’s no formula for it. There’s no way to tell when it will begin or end.