Grief.
Grief can take on many forms. It comes in different shades, shapes and many levels. It’s not lateral. Nor vertical . There’s no formula for it. There’s no way to tell when it will begin or end.
Love
Poetry Post: Untitled
I wonder what could come of us
if there were more time
if we held more patience
If we loosened our tongues with love
instead of darts that led to regrets
What could come of us
if we pushed through
you owning your flaws and
the parts you played as the cause
if I managed my temper and tone
used my words more wisely instead
of playing the blame game
oh what could we be
without all of our past heartaches and pain
without bondage and chains to others
without ties and lies
could we be
without one another
no more you and I
no us, no we
would we apart, survive . . .
Silent music
*A work in progress. Also a working title.
…
I thought our music would never die
We were a song neither of us knew
the harmony to but
Being caught up in the moments
Moments turn movements
Movements we created with our bodies
To our own beat, in sync
We flowed
To our own tunes
While the world, our worlds
Seem to crash down all around us
It didn’t matter
Our music lived
and neither of us knew
Well I knew, what it was
Because I fell in love with you…
– Viola Constance
What About Your Friends: vol. 2, The Power of Friendship
About one month ago I posted the following to my snap:
“Love my friends. We’re all walking down our own paths, but to still be there for one another no matter the distance, time difference, etc…” posted on voila.its.viola on 8/2/18
This hit me at a time where I felt like I had just gotten it all together and now it was falling apart and all I could do was smile. I had been in a constant communication with two friends (Domo and Drea) who I basically share almost everything with. I’d been a little in my feelings about other friends that are never around or answer when I need them, but I’m always there for them.
My friend Mario called me via Facebook at bootycall hours. At first I wasn’t going to answer, but after just waking up from a horrible dream and reading a bible verse I picked up. Something told me to talk to him. Plus, I’ve come to learn that when folks call at that hour it’s usually bad news. At first I joked with him “hey man, what I tell you about calling me during these hour?” Lol. He apologized and shared with me the loss of his mother. Continue reading
Reflections on 2018 Thus Far
I’m learning to embrace all aspects of my journey. Before, I honestly despised reflecting on the negative things that have occurred in my life. I guess that was my (unhealthy) way of coping. I’ve grown and matured in a way that allows me to reflect and not dwell on the past hurts. I’m learning to reflect, feel, acknowledge and continue forward. Always forward.
21 Day Gratitude Challenge: 1 Week Down, 2 to Go
Near the completion of my second college career I decided that I’d get more into reading self-help books, tending to my mental help and providing myself with continuous self-love (hey, that ought to be a post on it’s on ;)). During this journey, that I plan to make a permanent part of my lifestyle, I came across a 21 Day Gratitude Challenge.
He Told Me He Was Depressed, I Deleted His Number
I know that title seems harsh, but it’s fact. It had nothing to do with him being depressed or not being able to deal with whatever may come with that. Heck, I’ve been depressed before and I know that depression affects each person differently as well as each person finding different ways to cope with what their feeling and trying to make sense of it. It’s tough. Anywhos, earlier this month Proud Dad/Long Distant (PD/LD) called me after months of strained communication. During this brief conversation he asked had I ever been depressed to which I’d answered yes (I’d shared this with him before, but did not say that to him). He asked how did I overcome it. I told him I honestly can’t pin point one thing. I told him after some time I was tired of feeling tired, down and feeling sorry for myself. I couldn’t stand being in that state mentally or physically especially when I compared all of the things I’d gone through both good and bad, wanting to end my own life and all I’ve accomplished after the moment I decided to truly live. I’d be fighting hard to live and I had to mentally hype myself up to continue on. I told him I remembered what my mother and so many other black elders had told me and other before, “the worst thing that could happen is they say no” and “a no doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world does it?”. I was literally lying in bed feeling drained from just simple daily tasks (showering, eating and going to work) when I said you know what I’m going to just go for everything I’ve been wanting to do. I’d also decided I’d go sky diving and after not splattering all of the ground I pushed forward. I’d asked PD/LD if any of that even made any sense to him and apologized if I hadn’t been of any help.
