The pain is too heavy. So much so that words get caught in my throat and I’m suffocating, although I am not choking. It’s the same aching pain when Trayvon Martin was killed, except this one hits way closer to home.
Slauson-aire. A legend of legends. A teacher with whom you could really relate. If you’re not from the city you can’t relate on all levels that South Central felt getting that news. I didn’t wanna believe it. When my sister said came upstairs in a huff to deliver the news, I badly wanted it to be a lie. She wanted it to be some sick ass April Fools joke… but it wasn’t. It isn’t.
Ermias Asghedom (Nipsey Hussle) was taken from us. Continue reading
Near the completion of my second college career I decided that I’d get more into reading self-help books, tending to my mental help and providing myself with continuous self-love (hey, that ought to be a post on it’s on ;)). During this journey, that I plan to make a permanent part of my lifestyle, I came across a 21 Day Gratitude Challenge.
Ugh! I know in June I originally wanted to do an overall reflection of 2016 as I was doing a mid-point reflection of the year. Now that it’s that time I’m really not wanting to, but I cannot just drop something I set out to do lol so here goes.
2016 sucked in the most beautiful way. I endured many obstacles on a personal and professional level. I lost many loved ones whom I took for granted and just knew they’d always be here. I’ve had so many beautiful experiences – I’ve cried in public with strangers, I’ve tapped into my emotions, I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable, I’ve experienced accepting love without constantly overthinking motives, I’ve met a wonderful man who in all of his brokenness is a King who I am grateful to have met. I’ve learned many hard lessons like putting myself first and being selfish, because in your 20’s with no kids and obligations other than self, that’s what you’re supposed to do. I’ve struggled with my anger, I’ve been accepted into graduate school and wanted to give up on it all in the same semester. I’ve experienced the world a bit more through my fearless travels, I’ve allowed myself to fail, to “give-up” and much more based on what I felt. I allowed my heart to lead me more than I have in my 25 years of existence. I’ve hopped on a plane to see that broken King and in all the fear allow myself to be open with and to him. I did not complete any of the books I set out to and I’ve witnessed several friends including a few who do not read and heavily complain about writing author and publish books. I’ve connected with strangers on the smallest of things but on the greatest of levels; human rights, music, naturalism, pro blackness, positivity. I’ve let go of family and friends (which has and probably will always be the toughest thing ever for me to do).
So while tons of people are grateful for this year to be coming to a close and are ranting about all of the shittyness that came with it, I’m grateful and it’s a bittersweet feeling to see it go. It is my hope that I continue to grow into the next year and I personally do not retract from any of the amazing progress I’ve made. I thank those of you who follow me, those who send messages and comments (from love, conversation and even edits) and those who uplift me and encourage me to continue to share. It is deeply appreciated.
If no one has told you today I love you, you are cared for and you are needed! I’ll see you all in 2017.
– Viola Constance