Near the completion of my second college career I decided that I’d get more into reading self-help books, tending to my mental help and providing myself with continuous self-love (hey, that ought to be a post on it’s on ;)). During this journey, that I plan to make a permanent part of my lifestyle, I came across a 21 Day Gratitude Challenge.
Emotions and vulnerability are things that I have always struggled with. It is tough for me to open up to others on an emotional level. When I was younger I cried for everything, just a big ole softy. As life progressed I harden from situations mainly with family and “friends.” But even throughout the transition from shy, happy-all-the-time, crybaby Vi to bold, laid-back, angry quiet Vi I’ve always dealt with other people’s emotions better than my own.
I know it may seem like a big contradiction considering some of the things I’ve shared on here and on my Tumblr, but it’s true. It is easy for me to be vulnerable for someone else and help them through a tough and maybe emotional situation, but it’s a huge struggle for me to deal with my own. I usually bottle up my personal issues and release it far after. And even when that happens, I feel a bit of regret and anxiety as to why I’d shared that information/moment with someone when I don’t feel like I’m being listened to or the person I confined in isn’t attempting to understand where I’m coming from.