The wait is over!
This may seem strange to some, but for those who may be a bit more seasoned it isn’t. But I COULD NOT WAIT to turn 30. I just felt like life in my mid to late 20’s was trash!
I fought depression hard multiple times and suicidal thoughts were resurfacing. Although I should have relished in the fact that it hadn’t knocked me out, I was trippin’ on the fact that it kept rearing its’ slumped head. I had quit my highest paying job – which had allowed me to purchase my first (used) car, vacation out of the country each year and pay off half of my students loans to go back to school, get more student loans to get a master’s degree. I was still living at home with my parents, which had its pros and cons – and the con that took me out was having an additional family of 5.5 then 6 and occasionally 7 live in our 2 bedroom home. I just knew 30 had to have more than that.
Thirty hit and I welcomed it. Everything just fell into place. It was as though I’d hit a switch. I did not care about things that did not serve me, gave me no positive energy or took me to another level. I felt very little (if any) guilt about so many things that once would consume me, my time and mental space. No came more easily and I’d finally learned how to choose and put me first without regret or guilt or backtracking. I was and am loving it!
Although I am still learning to stand firm in my boundary setting, I’ve learned how to give myself grace. What else has come with that grace is that fine line between rest and procrastination. Hence why my post on 30 is coming when I am so close to turning 31… 2 weeks from today to be exact.
As I prepare to close out year 30 and welcome 31 I look over the lessons learned and the new things I’ve fallen in love with in terms of self.
- Speaking up more for myself
- Letting NO be a complete sentence
- Having those hard conversations with loved ones
- Allowing myself to rest
- Practicing staying in the moment and present
- Not forcing anyone or anything to be in my life
- Enjoying every experience with gratitude