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Reflection: 2016 Thus Far

The year is half way over and while a part of me feels like it has just started, another part of me is like damn it’s basically 2017. After so many ups and an equal amount of downs I’ve decided to reflect on my 2016. I’ve dealt with depression, family, death, accidents, like (because love hasn’t reared) and much more. In reflecting I’ve found that in this short amount of time (this year) I’ve grown and learned so much as well.

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At the top of the year I was pulling myself out of a depressing state. In December I was in a car accident with my mom that left her car totaled and both of us scared and confused. As a parent she was worried about my health and well being. As a child I feared burying my mom. A part of me was content that we were together when it happened. I am very protective of my mother and as far back as I could remember I’ve always told my mom she couldn’t “leave” without me. We would go together. The irony of the accident was that I’d just left the hospital; was released and told that I was in “perfect health.” Negative forces were definitely displeased. I couldn’t understand how someone could not see an entire car. I couldn’t stand that I saw the car coming at us, into my side, and couldn’t yell out fast or loud enough for there to be a reaction that would’ve gotten us out of the way or the other car to stop. Obviously I blamed myself for something that was completely beyond my control.

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Life Is What You Make It Pt. 1

I’m not sure exactly when it was or where I heard the saying “life is what you make it”, but that is something that has always stuck with me. Regardless of the situations I’ve been in, I’ve repeatedly thought to myself it is what I make of it. Sometime just before graduating from college I made an album on my Facebook page (and yes it is still kicking) that I titled Life Is What YOU Make it. The album basically consists of photos of, well, me. Let me be more descriptive here. The photographs range from pics of me as a toddler to college and events etc. But that isn’t what this post is about.

At the close of 2015 and the start of 2016 I decided that I would get my happy back.

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I Almost Let Go | Suicide

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On Being Mary Jane’s “Sparrow” episode Dr. Lisa Hudson played by Latarsha Rose commits suicide. There’s honest dialogue about mental illness and suicide within the black community. Mary Jane states that we all should “tell everyone that you love them, that you will love them no matter how ugly their truth is.”

In an interview about her character’s departure from the show, Rose said “I don’t know that everyone has the opportunity to really get vulnerable and honest when dealing with the pain. The question is, why does a person choose to do this? I think it’s different for every person, and if we’re taking about suicide, we never know why a person chooses it.” She is absolutely right.

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Artists On The Rise: Featuring Morisha Danee` and Kira Hayze

Morisha Danee`Kira Hayze

During my college years I came across a film on Netflix titled “A Good Day to be Black & Sexy.” After watching, I wondered why it took me so long to watch it. I’d scrolled across the film many times and now I wanted more. “A Good Day to be Black & Sexy” was written, produced, and directed by Dennis Dortch, creator of Black&SexyTV. From that film, I began following Black&SexyTV on YouTube. The content was great and relatable; the characters looked like me, the settings of the series were familiar and the music was authentic and meaningful.

Some of the featured artists that I really took a liking to (and noticeably so have others) are Morisha Danee` and Kira Hayze. Both ladies have unique styles and the greatest vibes. Morisha Danee` is more soulful, while Kira Hayze is more eclectic. Both ladies musical content is full of feels – love, sexy, hot and steamy and so much more.

So who are these two young women and what do they bring to the music world. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with them both and let me tell you, these ladies are down to earth, full of great spirits and gifted with talent!

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Social Anxiety

Truth be told, it has always been something I’ve struggled with. I am unsure as to how or when it started. I am unsure exactly what sets it off either. Social phobia. It doesn’t happen in all social settings. There are times that I find myself the life of the party. There are times that I am the one that starts the conversations and pump up the volume. Then there are times that I am anxiously awaiting to be alone. There are times that I want to simply be a shadow in the background and fade away. It is a lot. It is draining. And this is the first time that I am exploring and sharing my feelings about this.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of having social anxiety, but have always dismissed it for something smaller. I’ve held on to the title of being shy. I’ve accepted that I have introverted moments (although there are some people who wouldn’t agree). I’ve accepted that when I have bursts of extroverted moments how important it is for me to rest and recover as it truly alters my productivity and mood. I thought as I aged and matured things would change, but things haven’t. I can vocalize my need to be alone, but I am always stuck trying to explain why. It sometimes comes out as annoyance or even anger. It’s tough.

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Attempting to Accept Aging Parents (Originally Posted on 2blkgrls blog)

I’ve been back living at home with my mother and step-father for a little over a year now and I’m noticing things about them that I am sure has happened while I was away. It makes me laugh when I have to constantly try to explain different technologies to them. My mom is now a pro at turning on laptops, getting on the Internet and logging into her email account, but she still can’t figure out how to copy and paste or upload a document. My step-dad always has a cooler phone than I do, but aside from placing calls and text messages, he’s clueless on how to save contacts and change ringer profiles. Typical “old people” stuff.

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