Moving: Hardest Pill to Swollow

The toughest thing for me since being here has been the job hunt! I’ve never been one to give up easily nor have I been “unemployed” for longer than 3 months (a summer’s time). But coming here I felt like it was a fresh chapter and with my educational background and work ethic I’d get into one of my chosen career fields “in no time.” I mean heck I’d done it numerous times with ease in Los Angeles (a big city) and I had no problem in Fresno (where I got my adult start), so what would be the challenge here besides hella miles, wide open spaces and what I’d thought would be a small decrease in pay?

Wrong! I’ve been here for several months and have not come close to (in my opinion) a break through. I’ve applied to positions that I know I didn’t want to be in just to keep some money coming in because… bills do not stop! Adulting right? I’ve interviewed for jobs where I’ve been told the starting pay was minimal and with my experience and education I ought to apply elsewhere.

Since being here, I’ve had one solid job: PT Package Handler at FedEx. A job that pays weekly, was overnight and was super easy for me. It was a perfect fit. It left my days open for interviewing and writing and wouldn’t be a “big deal” if I quit because of their turn-over-rate… It’s expected. I was able to work and cover my bills, work toward my personal and career goals and still care for niece during the day.

I found myself getting comfortable and also getting down on myself for this move. Why? Because I began hearing from jobs back in L.A. and many opportunities in Texas kept appearing. What did I do? What should I do? I tried hard to stick it out at FedEx, but then little spats with coworkers occurred. None of this was worth it, but I felt this is a challenge I’m supposed to work through. There is a lesson here for me. Aside from continuing to allow myself to be uncomfortable, I think the lesson was to learn to walk away. The perfect opportunities arose for me to “get out.”

I received an email for a contractor position with a radio station I previously interned and worked for. Perfect! I was going on for a girl’s trip and possibly moving my mother into her new home or here to Georgia. Why not make money during my stay? This also further confirmed that me leaving FedEx was okay. I needed to stop hanging on to things or else I’d never get new opportunities.

Now, this I’ve already known. However, not knowing for certain that my bills are covered and covered in advance is a problem for me. I know being a freelancer, nothing is guaranteed nor is work always steady, but sheesh, this move seemed to be killing me more than empowering me as I initially assumed!

I am still going through the motions. I of course am still seeking employment in my field and working on blueprints for my own lane. I have been picking up design and social media branding gigs here and there as well as good ole babysitting. Having three degrees and doing the work that I’m doing has been a hard pill to swallow, but the beauty in it all is recognizing my strengths, my resilience and determination and ultimately giving myself credit for that…

Viola Constance

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