Personal

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The Day After Election Day

First let me start off by saying I have never been into the whole election bit. I’m not sure if it’s because I do not feel I am adequately knowledgeable about this topic or it simply bores me, but one thing is for sure it is something I don’t believe in at all. It has always seemed to be some sketchy-dumbass thing to me. Now as an adult I can articulate that that “sketchy-dumbass thing” more than likely it is some hidden agenda and the false sense of democracy. I’m not here to bash voting and all else that comes with elections, I’m just not with it on a large scale. I would honestly prefer to vote on the local and state level, because I feel like that is where true change is made. Aside from that, change is within each of us.

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To Live & Die in LA

Growing up in South Central LA…

you become desensitized by too many things. One of those things is gunshots. I’d recently come back from a trip to Thailand and had been thinking about all of the people who do not get to experience some of the things I am able to and who have no idea about life outside of their city (aside from what they see in the media). At around 3 a.m. I heard gunshots as I was walking from the bathroom and back into my bedroom. I didn’t think anything of it. Just thought some fools being dumb around the corner. Moments later I heard my dad stumble out of bed and run for the door.

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Life Is What You Make It: Leaving Comfort Zones Behind

2016 has been very good to me I must admit. After going through a tough year in 2015 – dealing with depression and more- I completely shut all the way down. Looking back I realize just how bad 2015 was. I was down in the dumps about plenty. I still hadn’t been admitted to a graduate program, I was waitlisted then declined to go to Peace Corps, I went through the long and tedious application and interview process to be a probation officer for LA County and was rejected nearing the end of the process, dealing with family and personal issues, I was at a job that I had a love/hate (loved the clients, hated the organization) relationship for, and unbeknownst to me back then, I hadn’t seen any of my really good/close friends in over a year. I was literally a robot. I’d routinely get out go to work, write a bit and sleep until the next day to do it all over again. Somehow I managed to groom myself and eat occasionally to keep up appearance. I told everyone all was well, but really I couldn’t see my purpose. My confidence was declining. That joy, hope and love for life just wasn’t there. Then one day I decided to share my feelings with those closest to me.

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Quarter Life Crisis Before the Quarter Mark

This post is pretty overdue. The initial thought about posting about my experience of a quarter life crisis was kind of intriguing. I’d discussed it with a few of my peers and a couple of elders from my family. I tried several times to sit and type (and hand write and voice record) this post and each time I backed out. How could I be afraid to open up and share this? I mean I wasn’t embarrassed or anything. And, well, yeah I wasn’t exactly 25 years old just yet (I was 23 at the time, see told you it was overdue). That was a cop-out of an excuse, I know, I know, but honestly the thought of putting it down, giving it life, having to momentarily relive some of those feelings wasn’t appealing at all. But after seeing that awful draft of a partial sentence and a title I finally got the guts to put it out, at age 25! Oh the irony.

Two years ago I was deeply in my feelings about life in general. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why Continue reading →

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Identification . . . More Than Meets the Eye

Originally posted in March 2015 on 2blkgrls.com

“I have no idea what to call Black Americans, African Americans, Blacks, but I don’t want to be that racist white guy or offend anyone and have to defend my ass.” – A “white” guy from a diversity workshop in 2012.

How do you identify yourself other than human:
Do you prefer the term African American, Black, both, or neither?

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Life Hiatus

Have you ever felt like you just needed a break from life? You’ve been going and going and going, doing one thing or another and when you have a moment for a moment you’re like fuck this, I tap out! That’s totally me right now. In the wake of all that is happening in my life and in my community I’ve decided to go on a hiatus from life. I know, I know, that is kind of a tough task especially on my budget lol, but I’ve decided I needed a break mentally from just extra stuff. I randomly go MIA and it is rejuvenating! I feel refreshed, my mind, body and spirit are all balanced. I feel like that is really needed now.

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Enough Is Enough

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I am tired of being tired. I am tired of feeling helpless. I am tired. Enough is enough. In the last few days there have been senseless murders of men at the hands of “law enforcement.” People around the world are all cried out, drained from seeking justice and being met with a new name to hashtag.

So now what?

We march? We pray? We fight?

All the above I guess.

 

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