Poetry Post 3

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What could of come of us

if we pushed through

you owning up to your flaws

and the parts you play as the cause

if I managed my temper and tone

and used my words more wisely

Instead of playing the blame game

instead of pointing fingers

oh what would we be

without all of our past heart aches

and pain

without our bondages to others

without many pestering negative thoughts

could we be without

one another

no more you and I…

 

– Viola Constance

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I Clung and Now he’s my Loss

“You only lose what you cling to” – Buddha

what-is-he-doing

I’ve never did an actual update about Proud Dad/Long Distant on this blog. Those who follow know he was the prize out of four hopeful new friendships from dating apps, and for those who don’t know click here. I was skeptical about writing about him in grave detail for many reasons. One major reason I didn’t write more about him was because of my unsureness. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if a friendship would grow and a relationship would blossom, but in case it did, I wanted to keep it pretty private (not secret, just private). Another huge reason for the lack of updates was because I’d really started feeling this guy. It was a positive experience and I keep hold of those kinds of thoughts and memories as it is tough for me to write down in full detail what has occurred or what I am feeling (I guess it’s too much excitement), and I’ve also made it a thing to jot down negativity to get it out and I want to keep all of my happy within. PD/LD had become a big part of my happy. Reason three, I didn’t want him to think me strange or obsessed (he may now :/) if I did write more about him. I mean he knew I’d written a bit about him publicly and even read it, but I didn’t want it to become a thing even if he did ask if I were going to write about him again, “why not?” and “you should.”

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Oh, There’s a Word for That

Usually I stay away from phobias. Not because I have a phobia of phobias, but because labels bother me. I have actually only looked up a few phobias years ago due to someone either labeling me or bringing it up in conversation and I was too embarrassed to asked for the meaning. In the short-lived times I’ve researched phobias I found that there are a shit ton of phobias and I refused to live life thinking about all of the possible fears that others have (I mean these phobia words come from somewhere right). Glossophobia is the only phobia I can relate thought I related to until recently.

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