You hit me in waves causing my
emotions to crash
I’m sunken
Going under, far beyond the surface level . . .
– Viola Constance
You hit me in waves causing my
emotions to crash
I’m sunken
Going under, far beyond the surface level . . .
– Viola Constance
Trying to make peace with chaos.
– Viola Constance
Life is crazy. Life can be full of sh!t. But life is what YOU make it. I plan to make the most out of mine, my way. There are many things – negative, painful, revolting – in my life, and people including myself, that have contributed to all of the chaos that I have encountered and always dealt with in my head.
I’ve been thinking of ways to revamp and liven-up my blog. Now that school is finally over (all exaggeration) I want to be sure to dedicate some of my time and energy back into this site, especially because not only do I miss it, I’ve recently gotten a few new followers and I have things to share and hopefully you’ll want to read about them. So let me back track a bit to catch you guys up.
First off…
I think one of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned [so far] this year is that the truth isn’t for everyone. Everyone can’t handle the truth. Everyone doesn’t want to face their truth, whatever that may be. I try to be as honest, as truthful and up-front as I can possibly can. Not in regards to solely my own feelings and opinions, but that of others as well. I’ve found that just because someone says they want honesty doesn’t mean honesty 24/7 and in every realm. I’ve noticed that words and actions do not always match up. My eyes have been opened to see that just because the truth is my truth, honesty is my route and having others deliver it to me “straight with no chaser,” doesn’t mean that is how everyone else, even those I love and care about wish to receive information. It’s been said that you don’t have to look far for the truth if you really want it and I can attest to that. I have to realize that I cannot help or shelter everyone I love.
I don’t fear being alone or in the company of others. I fear becoming involved with someone and them leaving me. Be it in a friendship or a relationship. It takes so much out of me. It’s tough opening up to someone and allowing them in. It’s far more difficult to let go when I’ve made a place for them in my heart. The emptiness is what hurts because that hollow space was customly created for that one being. It can never be filled…