I wonder what could come of us
if there were more time
if we held more patience
If we loosened our tongues with love
instead of darts that led to regrets
What could come of us
if we pushed through
you owning your flaws and
the parts you played as the cause
if I managed my temper and tone
used my words more wisely instead
of playing the blame game
oh what could we be
without all of our past heartaches and pain
without bondage and chains to others
without ties and lies
could we be
without one another
no more you and I
no us, no we
would we apart, survive . . .
Vi’s Parenting 101 Rule 4: play a supporting role in your child’s life at all times and all ways possible.
As mentioned in previous post, I assist in caring for my niece. Since moving to GA, I am more involved in Hands-On in her life. I never really thought so right about this before until today. There has been a few small incidents recently related to school. From school staff, to classroom issues with the teacher and with students. I’ve been pondering what to write about, but after picking my niece up from school today I decided to start writing about parenthood, from a child-less aunt’s perspective. Also, honestly, I guess I needed to vent. I would like to get a community of parents including single, biologically, non-related and related guardians talking and sharing.
So let’s backtrack.
*A work in progress. Also a working title.
I thought our music would never die
We were a song neither of us knew
the harmony to but
Being caught up in the moments
Moments turn movements
Movements we created with our bodies
To our own beat, in sync
To our own tunes
While the world, our worlds
Seem to crash down all around us
It didn’t matter
Our music lived
and neither of us knew
Well I knew, what it was
Because I fell in love with you…
– Viola Constance
I tell myself
don’t force pieces that don’t fit
and some shit just can’t be fixed
the hazy picture is clear
I’m faded but memories are now jaded, it was you
who no longer made time you
who left me behind
I’ve cleared you from my mind
Now you lurk in my reality…
– Viola Constance
I’ve been struggling with what I wanted to share next. I haven’t had any real inspiration as of late. It seemingly has been blocked. I don’t know by what, I’m assuming by self. I’ve been listening to those around me and I’ve even asked others what I should write next. With suggested topics, I found that, well everything offered sucked! I mean, that’s how I initially felt. Why did they suck? Because I had no connections to them. I haven’t experienced or fully experienced some of these things that others thought would be good to explore and discuss. I’m connected to the things that I write. I FEEL the things I write and to me it would be a disservice to my readers if I did simply typed out things that I thought people just wanted to read. I need to relate to it so others can relate to it. That’s how conversations go, right?
Until our next conversation dear friends,
– Viola Constance
When I was thinking about friendships past and present and wrote my previous blog post I did not think about the friendships that failed I did not think about the friendships that ended and left me feeling bad. I decided I wouldn’t write about the downer until I read about for intimacy and in that article disposable friends were mentioned. I looked into this term more, and it kind of hit me. In these so-called friendships that ended and still stung me a bit, I was a disposable friend. I could not recall them being true friends to me the way that I had been to them. They were around and called me to be there when they needed it for be it for comfort, support, encouragement, love or entertainment. Both males and females.
Since I’ve moved from California to Georgia, I’ve been doing tons of reflecting. One of the things that continuously crosses my mind is where I am in life. Although I’ve been trying hard to stay away from a life of checking off boxes – you know go to college, graduate, get a well-paid career, get married, buy a home, have kids etc…- there’s one thing that’s been a bother.